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    Latest News Satire

    GM Loses Fewer Billions Than Expected

    DETROIT – General Motors Co. announced today that it has lost $1.2 billion since the U.S. Government bailed it out. The losses were less than expected, prompting the corporation to throw a celebratory “Screw it, we’re not paying for it, get the expensive cookies. Ooh, and a magician!” party.
    Over the past year, GM [...]

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    About Secondhand News

    Secondhand News is a satirical multimedia news blog that pokes fun at politics and current events from the United States and around the world.

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Weekly Video

Politics

Obama Meets With Canadian Despot

In his first official state visit as President of the United States, Barack Obama made good on campaign promises to engage the nation’s enemies in dialogue “without preconditions”, meeting directly with the leadership of the rouge nation of Canada.

President Obama traveled to Ottawa to meet with Stephen Harper’s regime, disregarding the prevailing opinion of Americans, 72% of whom are “pretty sure the capital of Canada is Toronto” …

U.S. News

Army Honors Pig War Veterans

In observance of of Veteran’s Day, Army Chief of Staff General George W. Casey presided over a ceremony at Fort Benning, Georgia today, honoring “our nations greatest heroes,” by which of course he meant the veterans of the infamous 1859 Pig War.

World news

Navy Snipers Kill Pirates, No Parrots Hurt

Three pirates were killed by three shots from Navy SEAL snipers Sunday night, ending the United States’ first confrontation with armed pirates since the USS Constitution’s defeated Captain James Hook in 1815, leading to Hook’s banishment to Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch in Santa Barbara, California.
The shooting of the pirates ended a tense, days long standoff [...]

Business

Economy Goes Down, Prostitutes Don’t

NEVADA – It’s no secret that the U.S. economy is not in the best of shape. Between the sub-prime mortgage crisis, the credit crunch, the soaring price of oil and the weak dollar, times are tough and getting tougher all the time.
But until now it’s only affected us in minor ways, a foreclosed home here, [...]