DETROIT – General Motors Co. announced today that it has lost $1.2 billion since the U.S. Government bailed it out. The losses were less than expected, prompting the corporation to throw a celebratory “Screw it, we’re not paying for it, get the expensive cookies. Ooh, and a magician!” party.
Over the past year, GM [...]

In observance of of Veteran’s Day, Army Chief of Staff General George W. Casey presided over a ceremony at Fort Benning, Georgia today, honoring “our nations greatest heroes,” by which of course he meant the veterans of the infamous 1859 Pig War.

Iraqi security forces have adopted a revolutionary new bomb detection device, according to the New York Times.
The hand-held device is several orders of magnitude smaller than devices available from “reputable” manufacturers, but American critics have their collective panties in a bunch over the fact that the device “doesn’t actually work” and is “putting untold [...]

The nominees for the upcoming AVN Adult Video awards were released today, and in surprising move, the Adult Academy has nominated President Obama for Best Male Performer.
It should be noted that the president is receiving the nomination without performing a single on-screen thrust, causing considerable controversy within the industry. Dick Ironrod, who is also nominated [...]