Fighting continued today in Chad, as rebels linked to the Sudanese government attempted to overthrow the government of President Idriss Deby. If the coup is successful, it could have dire effects on the conflict in neighboring Darfur. The border between Sudan and Chad is a key point of entry for humanitarian groups, journalists, human rights activists and peacekeepers who cannot enter Darfur through other areas of Sudan, as well as an exit portal for refugees fleeing the genocide in the Darfur region that has killed an estimated 200,000 people and displaced more than 2 million. The attempted coup has already delayed the deployment of 3,700 European Union peacekeepers on a humanitarian mission to protect refugees in eastern Chad who otherwise blah, blah, blah . . . .

WHATEVER.

Meanwhile, in news anybody actually gives a crap about, the previously undefeated New England Patriots lost yesterday in a heartbreaker of a Super Bowl to the New York Giants 17-14, leaving the Boston area and Patriots fans everywhere trying to cope with the tragedy.

“To get to 18-0 and lose the last game,” said Devin Jackson, sister of Patriot’s wide receiver Chad Jackson (pictured above), “it just makes you want to go home, lay on your pillow and cry.”

The Boston Globe’s front page told the story of this unimaginable blow to the city and the toll it is taking on the local populace. “History Derailed!” the headlines proclaimed, “Outcome Leaves Fans at a Loss for Words”. The loss of a football game by a team that had previously won 18 in a row was truly the most heart wrenching story of the day, and for the most part it got the attention it so richly deserved. There would have been room for even more coverage of this disaster, had it not been for some article about brown people killing each other someplace far away that ran on page 3 (reprinted from the LA Times).

All of us here at >3 extend our deepest sympathies to the people of Boston, their families and loved ones during this trying time. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. May God bless you, and we hope that in time, the scars of the terrible events of this Sunday will begin to fade.

Related News Satire:

1. Supreme Court Justice Announces Monkey Video Game
2. Navy Snipers Kill Pirates, No Parrots Hurt